A friend back in 2005 once told me something that stayed with me, he told me he couldn’t figure out if I was a trembling leaf or the breeze shaking it… very poetic, in many senses profound, and after many times I recalled his analogy, trying to give it meaning, trying to fit it in, and understand it, today I was given another chance to think of these words… In me they act a little like a key, unlock weird paths for my thinking processes, and it isn’t random when it happens that I recall them… but this isn’t the reason I am writing today, maybe some other day I will attempt an explanation, not today.
Yesterday in a gathering with very close and special friends, a question aroused: “What does awareness mean?”
The question stayed with us a little, but was then discarded and overcome by other lovely means for discussion, leaving it a bit in the air, maybe because we felt it too obvious to process or because the pizzas and the wine delivery became our priority, I don’t know. Yet again I didn’t forget the question, had it in my mind somewhere sitting and waiting for me to care.
Left late, got home, slept and woke up this morning with my usual eagerness to pick pen and paper and start writing my good morning pages. At some point into the sequence of writing-sipping coffee-puffing cigarette-thinking-adjusting on the chair etc, found myself daydreaming of the answer I could have provided through the analogy of the leaf and the breeze, and here it is what then evolved in writing:
“To me Awareness is the assertion, the observation of the process by which the breeze has an impact on the leaf, making it tremble. The understanding of the moments in which one acts more as breeze does on leafs, or as leafs do by trembling, due to an external breeze causing it. How much of each of these two states exists in one moment of life, because reality is we are both leafs and breeze shaking leafs at the same time. How much of what you act out is you and how much belongs to what rests outside you, the ability to distinguish the two, before assembling them into one, just before making the moment yours: an experience. And doing so, as you grow and move in all directions… Awareness is the knowledge of being you among potential parts of you at every step of the process of living. That finally results into choice, the choice of what to assimilate and what not, what to channel in and what to filter out. Forming in turn -after assimilation- the new awareness of what your grown self is and is not, keeping parts integral yet combined, knowing where they came from, watching them evolve, react, mutate…
Awareness is the monitoring of the detailed written algorithm a life succumbs to. Yet again, awareness isn’t the algorithm in itself, that algorithm is life, rather the ability to read it and hold all its length as a picture, in your mind.“
Now, when at the beginning I mentioned the breeze-leaf analogy is a key opening weird paths to my thinking processes, that’s what I meant, how from breeze and leafs do we get to algorithms? But as I said, it will be for another time… 😀
True – Free – Love