Friendship to me is the truer kind of love, lacking any kind of interest or material responsibility, purely meant for Companionship, Togetherness. Brotherhood, in other words said, and in my world, Real Friendship exists. This topic makes me feel a teenager again, so bare with me 30-40 & + year old readers, although I believe this subject is ageless non-the-less.
In a discussion with my dad just before Christmas, he advised me not to get fooled, that real friendship doesn’t exist, that I shouldn’t trust people so easily and so on. (I must have heard this from him about 1000 times, I am 35 by now, he’l never stop making me feel 15…) I cut it short in a sentence long indisputable truth: “I disagree, friendship exists, because I experienced it, thus it can be, thus is real.” I am very proud of that answer, meaning that if it can be in me, it can be outside me too, the fact that most people get mixed up, disappointed and confused within their relationships is irrelevant to the actual existence of friendship as a notion, it exists because we experienced the bond, for as long as we did or do. It lives within, in our souls.
Now, the expressions of this condition named friendship, can vary, and its exactly these expressions we – people – can’t agree upon, misinterpret, leading us to judging in favor or against the actual existence of friendship in an all together. But can we dispute the closeness that builds up among people?
The expression of a notion isn’t the notion itself. Denying the existence of friendship because one has experienced disappointment in that area, would be just like denying the existence of color because one doesn’t know how to paint with it!
What commonly happens is that we detect discrepancies in behavior, due to closeness it is easier to spot those, and then on decide “friendship” was called in vain. The reality of the things though is quite different, one cannot by observing the behavior of another, the expressions, detect with certainty weather friendship is actually there or not. Behavior and condition are two different and separate things. And people haven’t been always keen in improving their behaviors, improvement for human beings is a matter for survival, if a person therefore feels that he can hold on to an old behavior without much to lose, he will hold on to it. But here is the key, the loss isn’t always predictable!
Behavior/ Expression is the product of memory, the storage of experiences accumulated through the years, the history of impacts previously accounted for, which create and improve reaction to Spiritual stimuli. So, if the life of a person is full of sad moments and disappointments, you can’t surely expect of him or her to express his spiritual stimuli in the way one with less turmoil to account for, could. Yet again you can’t even judge what traumas might bring hasty behavior, or kind one, for it varies from one human being to another… so, why bother – in terms of friendship – to get into all that in the first place? Friendship isn’t psychotherapy, nor pity, friendship is being there to make someone you care for smile with you, feel the warmth you feel next to them. A whole creativity spear for sharing and feeling comfortable in each others company.
We endure into patterns that we are acquainted with, until we find better ways to express ourselves, friendship is a ground for expression too, through relating to others, and there are patters that we’ve built up, that we are acquainted with, in friendships as well, so does everybody else. We compare expressions, and this is totally wrong, because we all have very different stories from each other, thus express ourselves in different ways, have built different patterns! Can you compare a potato gateau to a cup of coffee? Why don’t we try to improve our own expressions instead of comparing ours to the ones of others? One thing is sure, less disappointment is guaranteed, for you shift interest from that of proving friendship existent or not, to proving YOU are a real friend! 🙂
The notion of friendship is brought by the Spiritual world (the world of stimuli), the reaction to it, thus behavior/ expression is brought by the Physical/ Material world (the world of memory).
This is an important distinction because whilst it is true that we have got to live with and within the material expressions of ours, it is also true that we can’t deny the existence of the Spiritual inspiration igniting expression, and furthermore, we can’t even deny the plethora of choices the Physical world gives, for expression. In other words, we can’t deny either of them, we can only try to balance them to each other, through ourselves and for ourselves, each one of us for his own self, instead.
Once you stop questioning about what is fictitious, or idyllic as opposed to what is realistic by realizing all is possible since it lives within you. And disengage expression from routine, from the constant repetition of well known movements and gestures by trying something different. You try to evolve, to grow out of the well known, and move towards something more precise, more congruent to the Spiritual inspiration you are trying to materialize.
In other words, to make it simple, friendship exists, yet the question is: are we – people – ready to express ourselves through it? Instead of stopping at every challenge it brings, and deny it exists?
True, Free, Love