It is hard to follow, probably, I do not know, but to me it becomes clearer, every day more, how people around me and myself, at times, treat children in disrespect of their natural age, not giving them the space to be 5-6-15 year old, but demanding of them to become older and “wiser” since very early in life.
I don’t neglect here the influence of “social pressures”, of “security”, of “health care”… yet these stand secondary in my perception nowadays.
I wander about the need our demands fulfill within us, and it becomes always clearer, we ourselves aren’t grown-up at all, our human evolution hasn’t yet reached that level of maturity, as for us to stop projecting our own need for security into the child.
What we do is evident: we desperately attempt to bring up parents for ourselves, and since our need is very imminent, we do this in a hurry, dressing kids up as if they were adults, getting them not to speak too loud in a crowd, not to run around: “Behave children! Behave!”
What does it mean? To “be behaved” or better “well behaved”? It means to realize what an environment full of “others” needs, so to preserve harmony in it, and adjust or even placate your needs, in order to please it… very honorable notion, BUT, how can a child possibly do that, when he isn’t yet fully aware of either? How can we ask of the child to sacrifice his own desire to run and scream, without him even understanding what need runs beneath that desire of his… and further more understand the need behind the combined desires of all those others in his surrounding? Do you see how complicated this is? Could that work possibly be done at the sound of the word “behave” for a 5-6 or even 15 year old? I dare ask, we grown up, can indeed manage it ourselves at all times?
We jeopardize our own intrinsic purpose, to create the parents we want them to be, for us, and that’s ironic but to me sounds like we deserve it! One day the real children will wake up, see what we’ve done, and turn against us, and why? Because its all done in disguise and without their permission!
If we, the grown up, could admit we aren’t in fact “adults” ourselves, we wouldn’t fight childhood, we would manage to coexist alike children do with each other, when granted the space and time to do so. Discuss what needs are, but do not impose our structures. Draw the lines of tolerance, but do it together.
The “grown up” characteristic in respect to the “child” is thy lived more years on planet Earth, thous has potentially grown a better knowledge of the workings of the society both, thy and the child, now live in. Granted -by precedence- with a “guidance” role. However, this role should also consider and adjust to the mechanics of the grown-up’ thinking processes. These mechanics I mention are still very youthful compared to the knowledge and physical representation acquired over the years, our brain except for stored knowledge also contains projections of these mechanics. Can we exclude the possibility our thinking processes don’t grow up with age, instead begin rotting young, unused exactly because we aren’t able to conceive the enormous potentials for change – thus evolution- that we have?
When I referred to the “puppies playing the grown up”, the puppies represented these youthful mechanics in all of us, whereas the grown up represented our vests, our masks, made of aging organs, knowledge… memory.
If we don’t realize we live right in the middle of this dichotomy, we might never bring it together, make peace with it, and our internal fights will inevitably hurt those, in the phase of their lives, in which “mechanics” and “physics” actually work as one: in their childhood, in their youth!
It makes me think of when asking a grown man his age, he can almost speak the truth and not even realize it: “I am 70, but feel 25 inside!” He might be cheating of course… and not about the “70”, about the “25”, he might be even younger than that, stuck in between 13 and 16!
I could extend my thoughts to the possibility, the men and women we place in power to decide for us, are actually playing board games like children would do, with human lives now, not with wooden pawns any longer. Mothers in their homes playing with dolls and teddy bears only that its their daughters, fathers respectively playing with little soldiers and robots, only is their sons! Wishing to find a real grown up some day to stop them, thous stuffing kids with enormous amounts of information they cannot yet process, forcing it on them, school, after school, ballet, chess, computer science… all day, all night a non stop bombardment.
If we don’t stop, look into the mirror of our souls, accept the child in us, understand its presence isn’t a nuisance, the child we deny will continue fooling us, in response to our misconduct. We might never capture the reasons beneath our actions. Brutality and pain blur the center, the core matter here:
It is not a battle in between “Good” and “Evil”, we get restless because we fight Childhood.
We might excuse ourselves, playing hide and seek, but we can’t escape this one truth, we are children ourselves and you know what? We can change our games at any time, exactly because we are children!
It’s a blessing to be a child, not a curse!
Why fight it? Fighting it makes us only play brutal games, by means to express our internal fights, but we can do otherwise! We could unleash our own innate creativity – quality of the child in us – and apply it into bonding with other children, on a ground where age doesn’t really matter, at all. After all it is just a measuring unit within a counting game of ours, created by us, not nature, neither by a higher power.
We must stop this discrimination process, “Age” makes no real difference.
Replace these games, with less harmful ones.
And try it, if not to save ourselves, for the real children watching us!
Thank you for reading!